So, there i was...
...Takin' one of those dumps. Y'know what i'm talkin' 'bout. It was one of those where you have two reactions: 1) You shy away, tryin' not to be embarrassed that you made such a horrible smell or 2) You walk outta the stall with your head held high and proudly proclaim 'i made that poo.' Personally, since i can no longer be embarrassed, i choose the latter of the two. i even applaud others when they make such horrifying poos. i'll yell out somethin' to the effect of 'Well, hot damn, yo, that's somethin' nasty, huh?'

But that's not what this is about. This is abouyt what kept me occupied while turnin' the mall bathroom into a biohazard zone. i found one of those little God Comics (that's my personal name for them, you might call them somethin' diff'rent) on top of the tp dispenser. You've seen thes either in a bathroom, food joint, or hotel where you fuck your hookers. They tell you how everyone is goin' to Hell and there's not much you can do to stop it. i usually find them at payphones.

This one caught my attention more than most b/c it points out just all the flaws in the Major Christian League (MCL) than any other i've ever read. i can't remember the name right off the top of my head, but it was about how Jesus is magical and can do everything. i tore out the most entertainin' page and brought it home with me. Not the whole book b/c i only wanted the one page, you see.

iN this single page, it clearly defines why most MCL players are goin' to Hell even faster than i am. Which is pretty damn fast, if you know me well enough, which most don't. iT reads as follows:

WHO KNOWS ALL ABOUT YOUR SINS?

(this is the list provided and where i started to laugh maniacally, frightenin' the little boy in the stall next to me)

Murder
Having an affair
Envy
Cheating
Swearing
Witchcraft
Pride
Unbelief
Wanting something that belongs to someone else
Hating parents
Lust
Lying
Stubbornness
Homosexuality (Gay)
Shacking
Hate
Filthy Talk
Stealing
Selfishness
Drunkenness
iGnoring God
Playing with the occult
iNcest

THE BIBLE SAYS JESUS DOES!!!

Now, most of these, i have no problem with. They're obviously bad. Lying, incest, murder, cheating. All really naughty stuff that is, well, not up for argument. But, what i really wanna know is why in the name of Holy God would fuckin' your own hgender be a sin? Or, under certain circumstances, hatin' your parents? Some of these really make no sense inna religion that promotes forgiveness.

i was once asked by a youth pastor "What're you gonna say when you're standing in front of God?" i got mad and punched him, which was probably not a good idea. Later, though, i thought about it and all the dumbass things i've done. Those known and those that will never be known byanyone except those involved. And i came up with "Well, that's between me, God, and Jesus standin' in the corner eatin' a candy bar. First thing imma say? Yo, Jesus, break me offa piece a that Kit-Kat bar."

i was the Southern Baptist Convention. i was kicked out after ten minutes.

My name is 3d Graffiti and i fuckin' hate the Church.